Fran Lebowitz

Quote link. Other quotes about: god children child fact: "All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable."
Quote link. Other quotes about: child: "Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying."
Quote link. Other quotes about: small children child: "Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add."
Quote link. Other quotes about: children child: "Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky."
Quote link. Other quotes about: die important: "Food is an important part of a balanced diet."
Quote link. Other quotes about: talk small people ideas: "Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine."
Quote link. Other quotes about: book: "Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications."
Quote link. Other quotes about: good person: "Humility is no substitute for a good personality."
Quote link.: "If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail."
Quote link. Other quotes about: future child teach: "If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract -- teach him to deduct."
Quote link. Other quotes about: experience child: "I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult."
Quote link. Other quotes about: never: "I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota."
Quote link. Other quotes about: life: "In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."
Quote link.: "I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or or not."
Quote link. Other quotes about: something sleep: "Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep."
Quote link.: "My favorite animal is steak."
Quote link.: "No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
Quote link. Other quotes about: happy life: "Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."
Quote link.: "Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special."
Quote link. Other quotes about: life: "Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."
Quote link.: "Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable."
Quote link.: "The controversial overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive."
Quote link. Other quotes about: beauty belief soul: "The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive-you are leaking."
Quote link. Other quotes about: talk: "The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting."
Quote link. Other quotes about: life book good: "Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try."

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