Henny Youngman

Quote link. Other quotes about: something: "If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning,....sleep late."
Quote link.: "I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
Quote link. Other quotes about: find wife: "I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."
Quote link.: "I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."
Quote link. Other quotes about: right need: "My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."
Quote link. Other quotes about: light wife: "My wife is a light eater ... as soon as it's light, she starts to eat."
Quote link. Other quotes about: god: "When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say."
Quote link. Other quotes about: evil: "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."