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Other quotes by Bertrand Russell.

"Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men although he was twice married, it never occured to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths."

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Other quotes by J. R. R. Tolkien.

"Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you are actually married to."

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Other quotes by Cyril Connolly.

"The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married."

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Other quotes by Lady Nancy Astor.

"I married beneath me. All women do."

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Other quotes by Mary Catherine Bateson.

"No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a really nice man who wishes she were not."

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Other quotes by Walker Best.

"I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you're not married and having children, it's like your life is empty or you're a communist meanie."

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Other quotes by Jack Handey Deep Thoughts.

"He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, 'Dust to dust,' some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, 'I'll be waiting for you in heaven---with a gun.'"

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Other quotes by Henry Louis Mencken.

"Bachelors know more about women than married men if they didn't they'd be married too."

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Other quotes by Richard Needham.

"You don't marry one person you marry three . the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as the result of being married to you."

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Other quotes by Native American.

"We know what the animals do, what are the needs of the beaver, the bear, the salmon, and other creatures, because long ago men married them and acquired this knowledge from their animal wives. Today the priests say we lie, but we know better."

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Other quotes by Mickey Rooney.

"Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day."

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Other quotes by Rita Rudner.

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

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Other quotes by Paul Sadler.

"The goal of every married couple, indeed, every Christian home, should be to make Christ the Head, the Counselor and the Guide."

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Other quotes by David Shire.

"You can sort of be married, you can sort of be divorced, you can sort of be living together, but you can't sort of have a baby."

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Other quotes by V. P. Skipper.

"A kiss To a young girl, faith to a married woman, hope to an old maid, charity."

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Other quotes by John Wilmot.

"Before I was married, I had a hundred theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories."

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Other quotes by John Wilmot.

"Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children now I have six children and no theories."

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Other quotes by Joanne Woodward.

"Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat."

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Other quotes by Clint Eastwood.

"There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again."

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Other quotes by Nick Faldo.

"We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years."

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Other quotes by Zsa Zsa Gabor.

"I know nothing about sex because I was always married."

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Other quotes by Carolyn Heilbrun.

"The married are those who have taken the terrible risk of intimacy and, having taken it, know life without intimacy to be impossible."

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Other quotes by Socrates.

"My advice to you is get married if you find a good wife youll be happy if not, youll become a philosopher."

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Other quotes by Mark Twain.

"Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century."

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Other quotes by Office Space.

"Milton And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire."

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Other quotes by Ann Landers.

"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership."

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Other quotes by Ann Landers.

"The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead."

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Other quotes by Victor Borge.

"Ah Mozart He was happily married - but his wife wasn't."

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Other quotes by Dave Barry.

"Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings."

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Other quotes by Old School.

"Frank Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not"

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Other quotes by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

"A simple enough pleasure, surely, to have breakfast alone with one's husband, but how seldom married people in the midst of life achieve it."

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