Rita Rudner



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Other quotes about: time never love husband
"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times."

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Other quotes about: class
"I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine."

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Other quotes about: find life person love rest married
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

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Other quotes about: success
"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."

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Other quotes about: sun
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."

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"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."

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Other quotes about: think
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."

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Other quotes about: day mother
"Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before."

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Other quotes about: day something husband
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."

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Other quotes about: mother husband
"My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping."

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Other quotes about: live mother
"Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them."

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Other quotes about: human people respect rich
"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."

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Other quotes about: man children child
"When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with'"

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